9/11

 There are not so many words to say about 9/11/2001. I remember exactly where I was ...do you?

9.11.2001 I remember I was getting ready for my pictures. I was actually practicing how to straighten my hair with an iron because SHOCK straighteners weren't a thing just yet. I remember I was coming down the stairs to get breakfast and my mom screamed. She screamed and that was all. She didn't say much else. I was dropped off at my friends house like it was just another day at high school and off to school we went. As the day progressed, non of the teachers taught a thing, pretty sureI watched more television this day than any other day. The day got sadder...we all walked around and started crying about all the unknowns, unknown if people were okay, unknown of what would become of our country, unknown of what tomorrow would bring.

Fast forward 20 years later..., 9.11.2021 it's unfortunate. I'm truly at a loss of words. These last few weeks we have been trying to get out of Afgahnistan because of war that was started 20 years ago. A war that I personally was involved in. Not many people can say that, I do say it with pride because, while no I was not on the FRONT lines like many of the brave soldiers were but I was there. I was at a base that was built by the Americans that we knew we would keep there long term, we wanted to help their government. We wanted to teach them how to care for their own people with western medicine. That was our mission. 

I remember when Nick got the call, we were newly married but we had been together for a while. My grandma and her boyfriend Bob came to visit Texas and they planned a weekend for us to spend at Canyon Lake. It had been a really great trip and it was coming to an end on a Sunday. Sunday morning my husband got a phone call that said I'm sorry this is such short notice but you will be deploying at the end of the month.  We already had a feeling it was coming....and we had been doing some research. It really was such an emotional drive home not only did it rain and thunder the worst in Texas but we were scared. Nick was deploying...

That next monday I went to my command and volunteered to go too, we knew that no matter what when we got back their was a chance of me leaving so instead of me leaving after he got back it would be better then not seeing each other for an entire year. 

I remember leaving from Virigina AFB, I was with my mom, dad my husband Nick and our best friend Legro. We were nervous, excited, unsure, livid, scared. I remember feeling all the feelings. Ive always been the person that was welcoming of the unknown, always ready for the next adventure. But nothing could really prepare me for this. I remember we arrived at our first base. It was a transition base from the US to there. We stayed in tents, not even hard shelters. The women's bathroom didn't even have doors attached to the showers. Thank god it was just for one night. 

We went on a plane the next day. The plane. Have you ever been to an airfare show? If not you should go sometime, they let you walk on the planes. I remember I had to pack one backpack and boy did I pack it. Well no one told me I would have to sit with it on my lap. These planes we flew on were cargo planes, typically they have big pallets of supplies but they transitioned it to seats for a bunch of  soldiers, I remember talking to them. Everyone from medics, to doctors, EOD. All headed to the same place for different missions. That was the scariest flight...the seats would move back and forth, the cabin was pitch black with just small red lights. I knew we were going into war.

While deploying had it's ups and downs, we spent, our first week there and it was truly the scariest of my life. It was Christmas, we were getting off night shift and we were headed to the DFAC to go get some Christmas breakfast, we actually were having fun, we decided to go across the street to the shops to do some shopping before going to bed. Three of us were walking across the street, and all I heard was a loud whistling noise and I swear it felt like it was right above my head. I was trying to look around and duck and then the building right behind us that was under construction had a huge crash and a bomb went off. Then a huge siren went off.  We were mortered. I remember thinking what the fuck am I supposed to do....I ducked behind a wall and was like did that really just happen? We were all ok thankfully, and thankfully no one was in that building. Everyone around us just got up and started going about their business like it never happened. Apparently this wasn't very shocking to people, it was just a matter of when. 

Nick and I headed back our hut after needing to go back to the hospital for accountability, we knew we would only get a couple hours of sleep at this point since we had to work that night too. We had just laid down and the siren went off again. If you have an iPhone go to ringtone scroll down to classic and it alarm. That was the worst sound in the world, and I still get PTSD from it when I hear it. Well the alarm went off so nick and I weren't thinking much of it, but then we heard a huge mortar go off, then another and it was closer, we got on the ground he was ontop of me and I just remember bawling and just praying I don't die....

Well obviously I made it through, I'm thankful for my time over there, it truly taught me a lot in medicine, in people and the Afghan culture. Some days there were easier than most days here in the U.S. I guess I'm writing this blog post as therapy for myself as to what happened this last week. I know we weren't there for nothing, and I know that we did help some people. I hope that non of our soldiers that went to war and died,  and those that died on those planes that day and on the ground didn't die for nothing. I just wish it would have ended differently I guess, I know it was no ones intention to let things happen the way that it did but unfortunately it did. All we can do at this point is instead of point fingers and blame people for their mistakes. Come up with solutions on how to not let that happen again. Rest in peace all my fellow soldiers that we could not bring home.